This 'GM' is a Little Slow ...
 
When I was in college two of our better players liked to play 5-minute chess against each other. One - let's call him "Dave", would always play slow and deliberately, trying to find the best move. The other, "Louis", tried to budget his time correctly so that he would not lose on time - even if he had to play somewhat inferior moves. The result was that Louis usually won on time, often with a somewhat inferior position.
 
One day after chess club we were going to get pizza David, in usual usual inimitable manner, was saying to Louis, "You know, in that last game we played (which Louis, as usual, won on time), I had great pressure on f7. I just double Rooks on the 7th rank, and when you guard it with ...Rf8, I just push up my pawn and you can't defend f7 any more and I win!"
 
Louis, who had heard this a million times before, finally couldn't stand it any more. He stopped walking toward the pizza shop and whirled to confront his foe, "BUT DAVE...," he said pointedly, "...ANYONE CAN PLAY LIKE A GRANDMASTER IN SIX MINUTES!!"
 
{More, to follow}

You talk toooooooooo much...take a break