THE 5 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2009
 
SMART ARSED ANSWER 5
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated
in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
 
SMART ARSED ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of
Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family..
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."
 
SMART ARSED ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for
speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.
 
SMART ARSED ANSWER 2
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came
up that read " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got
stuck under it..
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The
policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and
said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
 
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
out of diesel!"
 
SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of
tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being
here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and
asked ,"What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class was reduced to
laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled
at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I
would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."