{from, 'a boy and his computer {dot} com'}
 
Regrets, like most everyone {and Frank Sinatra I suppose}, I have a more than a few. The other day I was talking to my buddy Jake about my old boss at my last job and he then gives me this hilarious, yet suitable, viral form letter to read and I immediately felt regret. You see I realized that I totally should have written this very letter on my last day of work at UTCLE {I'm not even going to justify even typing that out with a link to their site. Just know that I worked there with Ryland and it sucked. Just check out his rant on the daily abuse we so undeservedly endured there}. For those of you in the know: this letter will make perfect sense. Otherwise, it's just a good read anyway. Enjoy!
 
 
Dear Co-Workers,
 
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day." For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
 
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
 
Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
 
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
 
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
 
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
 
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
 
Very truly yours -- John Doe