You're new to Hell, and you're given a choice: You can go directly to the fourth circle, or you can play simultaneous chess games against Alexander Alekhine and Aron Nimzowitsch.
 
Alekhine always plays black and smokes a pipe of brimstone. Nimzowitsch plays white and wears cufflinks made of human teeth. Neither has ever lost.
 
If you can manage even a draw against either player, you'll be set free. But if they both beat you, you'll go to the eighth circle for eternity.
 
What should you do?
 
 
Minnesotastan said... "Accept the challenge."
 
Wait for Nimzowitsch's first move, and then play that move on Alekhine's board. When Alekhine responds, copy his move on Nimzowitsch's board. In effect the two masters are playing against one another; you're just transferring the moves between them. Since their game must end in a win or a draw, you're guaranteed to escape hell. You don't even have to know how to play chess!
 
 
Puzzle # 2: Two 'gentlemen' {sounds nicer, than "two men"!}, "grevillea" and "SouthernComfort," check into Hell, for permanent 'room & board'; what would be a logical and mutually agreeable method, for Both of them to determine, whom among them, will reside from then on, in the 'deeper' Hell? -- Remember, this is a hypothetical question, that for the sake of this word puzzle-question, has No bearing on how decisions like this, are actually determined!
 
For the answer, please, Scroll Down -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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..Oh Hell, 'Time's a Wastin'! .. Just a little more scrolling please, for the logical answer!
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... Thankyou, for your patience! ..Okay, here's 'straight-dope' answer: ----------- AW, SH!TE !!.... I FORGOT WHAT THE FRICKIN QUESTION WAS !!! ..SORRY!! ..{This probably would've been somewhat funnier, within the admitted, rather strained limitations of the joke itself, had the amount of scrolling required, been considerably longer!}.