I've been passing out drunk and it's getting worse
 
I can stay sober for a few weeks, but then have another attack. I'm starting to be truly afraid.
 
By Cary Tennis {July 10, 2008}
 
Dear Cary,
 
I'm writing because I've understood that you've struggled with alcoholism. I've been fighting mine ever since I went through 9/11. After that, I've been more or less useless professionally -- I'm a lawyer -- and have had to resign from my job because I was discovered passed-out drunk in front of my computer. I had started therapy about six months before that, but found that I felt worse off after every session. I've been prescribed Zoloft and it has helped somewhat. I can manage about a month without drinking, but after that I end up having a manic phase where nothing matters except getting my booze on. After a week or so of heavy drinking, I start having nightmares of people jumping. After that, it's a week of not being to able to get out of bed.
 
I'm going through one of those phases right now. I was supposed to travel to a conference but didn't make it because I got so drunk at the airport I fell down on my face and spent the rest of the day in the drunk tank. I have since been hiding from my family, who fortunately won't be expecting me to come back until a week or so. They will notice the bump on my forehead and two black eyes though.
 
I don't really know what I'm asking you, Cary. I need a way out that doesn't involve causing pain to my family. Like I said, I've tried therapy {CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy], to be specific} and I'm on medication, but I still have these attacks every few months. At that time, if there's booze in the house, I can't stay away from it. It seems like this will never end. I dread what will happen if something really bad happens, like a family member dying, or the family dog, or getting fired again.
 
Thanks for reading. 'T'
 
Dear T,
 
As a recovered alcoholic and a writer, I play two roles. As a writer I speak freely and in detail about whatever I choose to speak of -- the details of my own life, the names of the people in my life, the places I visit. As a recovered alcoholic, however, in the press, I try to speak only in general terms about the methods of my recovery. I do this to preserve my own humility, to avoid the appearance of being a spokesman for any group, and to protect the anonymity of those around me who have also recovered. Experience has shown that this is the best approach.
 
So I say to you, contact me, or I will contact you, and we will speak privately of this. I will speak freely to you of my alcoholism and my recovery. I will tell you my story and help you contact some people who can help you. But I will not take a public role as spokesman for any organization or purported cure, nor will I pretend to speak with authority about your therapy or the drugs you are taking. You say they are not working for you and that is enough for now; in search of a cure we often try many avenues of therapy with varying results before hitting on something that offers steady improvement.
 
I can say this: I drank like that. I could go without it for a while and then I would have another attack. I know the waking up and the passing out and the bruises. I know the shame. I know the terror. I know that it gets worse.
 
I also know there is a way out.
 
This also must be said: This particular literary endeavor is, in effect, a series of overheard conversations. You and I speak directly to each other and are overheard. We speak as though it's just between us. We consent to being overheard and, moreover, to being commented upon in public. But right now, I am not speaking to anyone but you. I am not speaking to some vast audience, saying, I know this or that about alcoholism. I am speaking just to you, saying that your story has a certain resonance to me, that I drank in a similar fashion, and I hope we can talk further so that perhaps I may be of some help.
 
As an alcoholic, this is the best I can do. As a writer, however, who always sits apart from myself and evaluates my work and speculates on its possible interpretation, I worry this prose may seem overly circumspect. If it is, that is at least in part to make up for past indiscretions born of pride, youthful arrogance and a refusal to accept the true gravity of the situation.
 
So one treads carefully here. Alcoholism is tragic and fatal if not arrested. But this can be said unreservedly: Every day I witness the recovery of formerly hopeless people like you and I. This fills me not just with hope but with a bold certainty that the methods that have helped me can help anyone who is willing to adopt them.
 
So we will talk. There is a way out.

I've been cutting and pasting articles to a miscellaneous bulletin board for years and it's getting worse

I can stay in a non-posting mode for a few weeks, but then have another attack. I'm starting to be truly afraid.

 
Dear Cary,

I'm writing because I've understood that you've struggled with cut & pasteism. I've been fighting mine ever since I went through the upgrade. After that, I've been more or less useless professionally -- I'm a class B professional chess player -- and have had to move to a lower category because I was discovered passed-out in front of my computer during mid-post. I had started therapy about six months before that, but found that I felt worse off after every session. I've been prescribed Zoloft and it has helped somewhat. I can manage about a 30 hours without posting, but after that I end up having a manic phase where nothing matters except getting my post on. After a week or so of heavy posting, I start having nightmares of people responding. After that, it's a week of not being to able to get out of bed.

I'm going through one of those phases right now. I was supposed to travel to a conference but didn't make it because I got posted at the airport I fell down on my face and spent the rest of the day in the non-computer tank. I have since been hiding from my family, who fortunately won't be expecting me to come back until a week or so. They will notice the bump on my forehead and two black eyes though.

I don't really know what I'm asking you, Cary. I need a way out that doesn't involve causing pain to my family. Like I said, I've tried therapy {CBT [cognitive behavioral therapy], to be specific} and I'm on medication, but I still have these attacks every few months. At that time, if there's an internet connection in the house, I can't stay away from it. It seems like this will never end. I dread what will happen if something really bad happens, like a family member dying, or the family dog, or going back to dial-up again.

Thanks for reading. 'T'

Dear T,

As a recovered cut & paster and a writer, I play two roles. As a writer I speak freely and in detail about whatever I choose to speak of -- the details of my own life, the names of the people in my life, the places I visit. As a recovered cut & paster, however, in the press, I try to speak only in general terms about the methods of my recovery. I do this to preserve my own humility, to avoid the appearance of being a spokesman for any group, and to protect the anonymity of those around me who have also recovered. Experience has shown that this is the best approach.

So I say to you, contact me, or I will contact you, and we will speak privately of this. I will speak freely to you of my cut & pasteism and my recovery. I will tell you my story and help you contact some people who can help you. But I will not take a public role as spokesman for any organization or purported cure, nor will I pretend to speak with authority about your therapy or the drugs you are taking. You say they are not working for you and that is enough for now; in search of a cure we often try many avenues of therapy with varying results before hitting on something that offers steady improvement.

I can say this: I cut & pasted like that. I could go without it for a while and then I would have another attack. I know the waking up and the passing out and the bruises. I know the shame. I know the terror. I know that it gets worse.

I also know there is a way out.

This also must be said: This particular literary endeavor is, in effect, a series of overheard conversations. You and I speak directly to each other and are overheard. We speak as though it's just between us. We consent to being overheard and, moreover, to being commented upon in public. But right now, I am not speaking to anyone but you. I am not speaking to some vast audience, saying, I know this or that about cut & pasteism, I am speaking just to you, saying that your story has a certain resonance to me, that I cut & pasted in a similar fashion, and I hope we can talk further so that perhaps I may be of some help.

As a cut & paster, this is the best I can do. As a writer, however, who always sits apart from myself and evaluates my work and speculates on its possible interpretation, I worry this prose may seem overly circumspect. If it is, that is at least in part to make up for past indiscretions born of pride, youthful arrogance and a refusal to accept the true gravity of the situation.

So one treads carefully here. Cut & pasteism is tragic and fatal if not arrested. But this can be said unreservedly: Every day I witness the recovery of formerly hopeless people like you and I. This fills me not just with hope but with a bold certainty that the methods that have helped me can help anyone who is willing to adopt them.

GET HELP

You guys are something else. Who says this BB isn't interesting?
 
I suggest you try the 12 steps of Cutters and Pasterizm Anonymous. They have a fairly good success rate and there are no dues or fees, only the desire to stop cutting and pasting.
 
Grandpa13

My mother was an alcoholic you cut-and-paster...Ever have an original thought in your life? Why don't you stop stealing other people'a ideas? If we want to read a book we'll visit the God damn library...You are a real joke...
 
In the movie "Good Will Hunting" Matt Damon reams out a pretentious pseudo-intellectual from Harvard who does nthing but quote other people.
 
Please stop filling these boards with your discoveries. Go show them to your mommy and maybe she'll give you a cookie.

.. So your mother was an alcoholic, 'Nimzo'; What, pray tell, is the connection, you're 'getting at'?! ..ie. Possibility, #1. You somehow view that 'cut & paste' post as making fun of alcoholics, & therefore, Not worth cutting & pasting, to this 'BB'?! ..It Is a Little funny, {but much more informative!}, in a sort of 'gallows'-type, depressing humor, way; but so are a whole slew of topics! -- Or, #2. Perhaps, you want sympathy, and/or understanding, for your apparent inability to connect, with other people in a positive, friendly fashion?!
 
.. If, the #2 reason, be the case; there comes a time in everyone's life, where they need to Stop making excuses for their Own dysfunctional behavior patterns; even, if it be, in an alluding, indirect, sort of way; and take responsibility, for ones' Own actions!
 
.. As for your supposed abhorrence of being exposed to "cut-and-paste" articles; you'd be surprised at how much worthwhile 'info.' is on the 'Web,' that Many other people, are either, too busy, or lazy, to access, the articles themselves; that are {at least} arguably, worth most peoples' time, to read!
 
.. Incidentally, 'Nimzo,' as they would've said, 150 years ago, and beyond; "I bear you No malice," {hate}; and I cannot figure out why you're prone to reacting so strongly and negatively to others, in your own posts; when much, if not All, of the proverbial "feedback" you get, on this 'BB,' IS merely a virtual mirror-reflection, of what you 'dish' out, to those same posters.. including, myself!?

Gamma
Nimzo is a Idiot!
His posts have defined him clearly.

D

As said by a true Googlite.
 
Amazing how formulating responses to some seems of no trouble at all while intelectual responses to others gives reason for cowering behind the proverbial chopping block.
 
Cheers
IBIJ

..I take it, that you now consider yourself the theological "chopping block" extroadinaire, 'IBIJ'; that's Both a laugh, And a 'crock'!

Even your reasonings Outside the confines of the Bible, show your deficient thought process!; when you posted the other day, that I take any "Google" {posted} referenced subject-matter, at "face value"; N-O-T!

..For the record, I've posted even theological rebuttles to your 'SDA' centric, and sometimes, eccentric posts; where even I wasn't completely in agreement with what I'd 'copy & pasted.'.. but, if I can find a relevant rebuttle, {saving me time and energy}, that I'm, let's say, 95% in agreement with, but, is in direct conflict with what you believe & espouse; I see No reason to go on record, as to the circa, 5% or less, that I would be in disagreement, with a given source on; since it invaribly has to do with the proverbial, 'dotting of an i,' or perhaps, 'crossing of a tee'! -- Otherwise known, as.. an unnecessary distraction!

Just because you, 'IBIJ,' have a much more persistent desire to somehow prove your own 'takes' on Scripture, as being uniquely {and strangely} 'Right'; when compared to All other Christian belief-systems... with repetition, {which was Also a favorite device of A. Hitler}, as your chosen 'first among equals' {proverbial} weapon; only speaks to your own obstinacy; and more to the point, your own intolerance to 'live-and-let-live,' Christian-based belief-systems, that are not in complete agreement, with your Own adopted belief-system!

Ergo, You.. 'IBIJ,' should pray to have more patience, {including tolerence}, for fellow believers who are Not in 100% in agreement with you; sort of like the Better tolerence you show on this 'BB,' to "grevillea"; who dislikes almost everything you & I stand for; and especially, when we happen to post, {in one form or another}, the 'world views' {including, spiritually related}, that we respectively identify with!

Hi Hmmmm
 
For the record...
1. More than once I have stated that I care less if people follow or listen to me or not -- Following exactly what God's Word does and does not say is the only matter of importance.
 
2. Countlessly, I have stated that God's people today are everywhere including Hindu, Budism, Methodist, Catholic & Adventism -- this will be quickly changing in the days ahead.
 
3. Rebutals that do not adress positions brought forward from the rebuttal are not true rebuttals, but rather an adults method of having a verbal temper tantrum while putting their fingers tightly into their ears. To provide a true rebuttal one must address issues brought forward as I have attempted to do through the years though failing miserablly at times.
 
4. Patience is not lacking on my part else I would have stopped posting on this MISC BB years ago. However, tolerance for those who mishandle the Word of God is indeed something that I willingly gladly persistently stand against and pray that I may never lose the gusto for the task which God has quite clearly commissioned all Christians to, though some choose blind ignorance instead.
 
Cheers
IBIJ

To- 'IBIJ,' I detected an opening here, {even if it turns out to be illusory}, when you said, in your preceding post: "To provide a true rebuttal one must address issues brought forward as I have attempted to do through the years, though failing miserablly {sic: miserably} at times."
 
.. An admission from You, "failing miserably at times"; on this 'BB.' Now, if you were to, at some future point-in-time, 'IBIJ,' expand your Own self-admission, of "failing miserably," as it applies to yourself; so that it's both, 'Wider And Deeper,' in Scope, And in Depth; then I would suggest that you'll have a better appreciation of how, circa 99 percent of just about everyone who bothers to read your posts, {and with Very Few exceptions, It IS a Bother!}, perceive your {ah-hem}, 'ministerial' outreach.
 
..I would Even reckon, that 'The Powers that Be,' are partially nauseated, by your persistent emphasis on what differentiates Your Own {adopted} belief-systems, as compared to other Christian denominations; and furthermore, do Not, Even Directly Pertain, to the More Universally acknowledged, than Not; 'Simple {Divine} Plan, of Salvation'!!
 
..If this sounds rather 'heartless' of me to say, of a 'fellow believer'; Even the present 'RC' Pope, {whom I Also have reason to believe, is 'Saved'}, has, unlike yourself; the wisdom to know when
literally harping, on what divides large segments of the mystical "Body-of-Christ," is no longer {figuratively} profitable; and makes us look, to the 'unsaved' world-at-large; as little, if any better, than the Hindus & Muslim {disputes}, Muslim & Jews, Chinese & Tibetans, etc, etc.!

Did you just say that it's a bother to read 90% of my posts? LOL... now that's the pot calling the kettle black to be sure.
 
Cheers
IBIJ