10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
 
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
 
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
 
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
 
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
 
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
 
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
 
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
 
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
 
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I were to add an 11th, it would be that Beer has more intellegent followers.
 
Also, you could substitute Milk for Beer in all of them except for #7. While Milk is forced to minors, at least it comes in breast form.
 
--SoCo

.. The last time 'I checked' though.. "beer," being the largely
inanimate, Non-judging, And Non-thinking beverege that it is,
does Not tell a person when they've had enough; or even the
socially inappropriate behavior that often ensues from having
had, 'one-too-many'!
 
.. Also, when combined with the human-nature tendency of, if
one beer {or even, cigarette or 'twinkie'} is good, then two or
or three perhaps {or must}, is even better!
 
.. On the other hand, I could probably give a few 'personal tes-
timonies' of how being 100% sober {and non-social} has its own
peculiar drawbacks; but that assumes that those two traits need
go 'hand-in-hand,' which isn't necessarily the case; depending
on the person, of course.

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
( But you may kill yourself if you drink to much.)

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
(And it doesn't tell you when not to.)

8. Beer has never caused a major war.
(But it has caused a lot of family wars and deaths.)

 
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
(No but they make them believe they can't have fun without beer.)

 
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
(No but you may knock on the neighbors door trying to screw his wife.)

 
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
(But he has burned up in a car wreck.)

4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
(You will have the D-T's long before that.)

 
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
(There are laws saying beer labels shouldn't lie to you.)

 
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
(But you lie when a cop asks you.)

1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
(When you have devoted your life to beer, only God will have any use for you.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I were to add an 11th, it would be that Beer has more intellegent followers.
(If you think that, just stop in at the local bar any evening and listen.)

Also, you could substitute Milk for Beer in all of them except for #7. While Milk is forced to minors, at least it comes in breast form.
(I can't think of a way to compare milk with beer.)

grandpa13