{The following was inspired when I happened to notice on
the game "Results" page, that a 1500-plus player beat someone
rated 2600-plus, at the custom time-control of, g/1 {minute}}
 
Female 'Forrest Gump' at Chess, Wins a World-Title, and $150,000!
 
..Today, a 28-year-old Massachusetts {USA} woman prevailed over
740 other online participants, in a grueling 3-day, 15-second per game,
"World-Timed, Speed-Chess Championship."
 
..The eventual winner, Helen So-and-so, of Brookline, Mass., freely
admitted that she doesn't know too much about chess, but had per-
fected a "strategy" where she first moved each of her pawns one
square forward, regardless of her opponent's moves, thus saving
herself valuable "thinking-time" on her moves!
 
..That "strategy," taught to her by her younger chess-playing brother,
plus her many cumulative hours of practice, involving 'point-and-
-clicking' her moves on a computer chess-server, in many 'practice'
games in record-breaking time, combined to both allow her to be
crowned the eventual 15-second World speed-chess champion, and
$150,000 richer!
 
..The tournament, was in large part subsidized by a presumably semi-
eccentric-multi-millionaire, who has insisted upon annonymity.
..When asked what she plans to do with her prize winnings, though
this reporter couldn't tell if she was being serious, quoting Helen,
she said that she hopes to soon be broadcasting herself, "24-seven,
on justintv.com, in the hope of meeting the man of {her} dreams."
 
..Upon being reminded that she would have plenty of dough left over,
even after that expenditure, she ventured that she'd like to be a role-
model in some way, but was doubtful if her latest claim-to-fame would
suffice.